Friday, December 20, 2013

Heartbreak & Beyond: A Lesson in Life, Love, & True Happiness

Heartbreak is just what it implies. Heart. Breaking. Due to my illness and falling ill at the young age of 14, I never really got to experience what regular teenagers experience; going to school, hanging out with friends, dating, falling in love for the first time. Which is why (aside from one prior very short "learning experience" at the age of 18) I'm a little behind by today's standards.

I experienced my first love when I was 21 years old. We dated for 2 1/2 years and then all of a sudden, just like that, it was done.

All in the blink of an eye, my heart was broken.

I've known friends and heard of people that don't ever get over a heartbreak; it completely shatters them for months to even years at a time. I guess I was different because within a week of knowing it was officially done, I was thriving.

Everything did a complete 180 in regards to my life; I started feeling better, I made new friends and was getting out more, I was exercising everyday and feeling fantastic, I was experiencing new things and finding out what I enjoyed to do. I would wake up in the mornings and instead of dreading another day and not wanting to get up, I would be, dare I say, excited at the possibility of another day and what it might bring.

Two months since the break up happened and I was happier than I had been in a very long time. Then, into my life, walks Joe.

I had known Joe through a mutual friend back in high school, but we only hung out once or twice back then. We weren't really friends; more like mutual friends of the same middle guy, a best friend to both of us. Throughout high school and after I never really thought much about Joe or where he ended up until one night when he showed up to a bar for an impromptu 5 year "class reunion" I was throwing.

Unbeknownst to me at the time I apparently caught his attention because the next thing I knew, we were texting daily and were planning on hanging out within the next week.

Fast forward quite a ways through all the messy, scary bits. Even though I denied him several times through my own fear and longing to keep the sense of freedom the single life brought, Joe set chase.

And man, did Joe chase!

He romanced. He was patient. He was sweet. He was understanding. He wooed.

Until one day 3 months later I realized he Jeti mind tricked me into falling in love with him! Just like that I went from being completely fearful of having my heart broken again to falling in love with someone when I swore I was never going to love again.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

I honestly and truly can say I've never been happier. Not only being with Joe (yes, I finally consented to a committed relationship a mere 3 months and a lot of fear later), but being where I'm at in life. My previous heartbreak and breakup were two of the biggest wake up calls I've had in my life yet; they were life's way of telling me to get out there, take responsibility of my own life, and LIVE!

For those of you, young or old, first time broken-hearted or twelfth time broken-hearted, hopeful or hopeless, fearful or ready to jump into love again, these are my words of advice for you: before you commit yourself to another person, make sure you love and value who YOU are first and foremost.

Regardless of whether you're single, already with someone, or plan on being in a relationship in the future, without knowing who YOU are, what YOUR likes and dislikes are, where YOU want to be in life, or what YOUR goals are, you'll never be able to be your true self with someone else.

Get to know and value YOU first and everything will fall into place.


Ellen said...

I so agree with this. It's advice I often give my 20 year old daughter.

The Rebel Chick said...

Ah, new love! I've been married for twelve years so it's kind of hard for me to even remember what heartbreak feels like!

Angela said...

Right now I am at that place where I am very comfortable and happy not being in a relationship. Who knows what the future might bring though.

Unknown said...

What a great story. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Melissa Au said...

What great advice!

Pam said...

What a great story, thanks for sharing! Also, that kitten is adorable.

mrsgregwillis said...

Love your story and that you shared it. Joe is a lucky guy!

Anne said...

Thanks for sharing your story! Heartbreak is part of life, and I am glad you overcame yours.

Tara said...

This is such a sweet story. Even in the midst of heartache there is something better to come! Congratulations on finding love! :)

Jennifer S. said...

Awe, you two look adorable together!!! I am so glad to hear that you are happy. You so deserve it. AND you deserve to be wooed. :) Wishing you both a Merry Christmas together!!

Unknown said...

this is so beautiful! I had an experience much like you after your first 'heartbreak'. I was thriving and so happy. It is a sign to me that the one who 'broke my heart' truly wasn't right for me. I wasn't the best ME I could be with him. And without the toxic relationship I was much better. Not saying I was miserable when we were together. Just that it wasn't right for either of us.

I'm so glad you have found so much happiness.

Cheap Is The *New* Classy said...

Great advice! You definitely need to know you before you can really know anyone else.

Terra Heck said...

I'm glad to hear you're in a happy relationship. And your words about loving yourself first are spot on!

BrettBMartin said...

wonderful advice!! and i'm glad you have found happiness

Unknown said...

Sage advice my dear! And I'm so glad to "hear" you so happy and accomplished!